SuperSize Mii – 3DS Gets XL Revision

Nintendo had their own special ‘announcement’ to make on Friday morning.

Did you get up early to hear all about it? I hope not.

Nintendo announced, via their ‘Nintendo Direct’ stream, that the 3DS was getting a slight revision. A new model called the 3DS XL is coming this August. Reggie (REGGIE!!!) boasted that the screen was 90% larger, making your gaming experience ‘more intense’ and your headaches ‘more severe’. There was also promise of an improved battery life. Given that the 3DS lasts for about 4-5 hours, that’s not exactly difficult.

There’s also some weird new with regards to the charger. Europeans will get the 3DS XL WITHOUT a charger. You’ll have to fork out some extra money if, you know, you want to charge it and play on it. Why? I don’t know. ‘Cost cutting measures’ is the party line, but it’s just such an odd thing to do. Are they planning on 3DS owners, who already have a charger, picking this up?

Because I know I wouldn’t. 3DS owners have been treated so badly by Nintendo, it’s almost sad. First, there was the huge price drop within the first six months of the console’s life. “Sorry you bought our stuff at full price”, Nintendo screamed, “Have some old-ass games as a ‘sorry’, BWAHAHAHAHA”.

Now there’s this. Nintendo had the perfect opportunity to announce this at E3. Instead, all we heard from Nintendo reps was that there was NO re-model coming. In fact, Miyamoto said only 11 days ago;

“I really feel like I’m satisfied with the 3DS hardware as it is. I feel like it’s the best for this generation.  What we’re thinking about right now is probably going to be for a future generation of handheld.”

Nintendo may think they’re being clever by avoiding the rush of E3. They may think they’ve done well to ‘throw us off the scent’ by misleading us with quotes like that. But they’re not. It’s just straight up lying.

People have probably bought a 3Ds since E3, safe in the knowledge, or so they thought, that there’s no re-model coming in the near future because, if there was, E3 would have been the place to show it. Customers probably saw Miyamoto’s quote, the trusted gent that he is, and forked out money on a 3DS.

People are constantly being burned by these ‘updates’. What makes this laughable, is the fact that the 3DS XL doesn’t have a second thumb stick and that the current ‘Circle Pad Pro’ isn’t compatible. If the new version of the 3DS doesn’t have a second stick built-in, are we even meant to give a crap about having a second stick? What does this say to the people that bought the Circle Pad Pro? What does this say to developers? Are they even going to support the Circle Pad Pro? What’s the point, right? Nintendo obviously don’t believe in it, so why should we?

It’s a shame that the only thing I can focus on is this poor handling of introducing a new piece of hardware. Within the announcement there’s mention of some really good-looking games that I’m excited to see. But I just can’t stop feeling that Nintendo mislead and lied to people.

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